Trump keeps telling us that he’s the best president ever. That he’s got the best administration of all time. Last fall, he delivered remarks at the annual United Nation General Assembly in New York City. He bragged about administration’s accomplishments, saying “it has done more than any other administration in U.S. history”…..the room erupted in laughter.
Now that we’ve had time to really reflect on this shit, and since muthafuckers wanna keep score, let’s get into it:
F. Dougie: There are bad people on both sides? Really Nigga?! Worse than a group of Nazi’s and KKK?! I know your father was in the Klan (allegedly), but you’d think you would have just taken an L on this one.
Idris Gray: No collusion? Really Nigga?! You’ve been in office 2 years? And have been investigated by the FBI whole time!
F. Dougie: Really Nigga?! No collusion? 34 indictments and guilty pleas by the special council. Your ‘fixer’ rolled on you and your homies are finding out slowly that loyalty to you ain’t worth 10-20 in federal prison.
F. Dougie: Best administration? Really Nigga?! 35 officials have resigned or have been let go through January 2019. That’s more first year departures in the last 40 years. Congrats. Look at the bright side. At least that 65% turnover is almost twice as high as your current approval rating.
Idris Gray: You paid off a porn star after it leaked that you had an affair with her and lied about the shit? Then threw your own lawyer under the bus while he went on to snitch on you?! I wish I could say I felt bad for the homie. Really Nigga?!
Idris Gray: You’re an honest guy. Really Nigga?! The Washington Post has tallied and debunked over 5,000 lies in the last year alone. That’s 13 lies a day! Do you just wake up in the middle of the night, walk over to the mirror and just lie to restore some sort of sociopathic balance?
F. Dougie: You’re a brilliant negotiator? Really Nigga?! After tricking you into saying you’d take full blame for the longest government shutdown in America’s history, Nancy Pelosi dogged walked you through the streets and cancelled your State of the Union speech. I’m sure your base appreciates not getting their paychecks, though. That should play really nice for you on the campaign trail.
Idris Gray: Perhaps your biggest success comes from the 2 Supreme Court justices that were confirmed during your term. Congratulations! Good thing one of them probably never sexually assaulted anyone. I know you look down upon that kind of thing 😉 Really Nigga?!
F. Dougie: “Hamberders”? Really Nigga?!
Idris Gray: 35 long ass days. That’s how long government employees across the country went without pay. The longest government shutdown EVER. And for what? To basically come to a previously agreed upon decision? All that posturing while people went hungry. FLAWLESS VICTORY. Really Nigga?!
F. Dougie: And then you bragged that you came up with a solution? Really Nigga? That’s like giving up 2 own-goals in the World Cup, losing the game, then going to celebrate with the opposing team.
We’re only 2 years into this 5th level of purgatory thats called a presidency and already you’ve set the record for the number of scandals by an administration.
Not only are you surrounding yourself with inept family members who are accused of conflicts of interest, your crew is accused of misuse of public funds, selling influence for favors, paying off women to keep quiet about extra-marital sexual encounters, working for a foreign government (let that sink in), violating ethics laws, dozens of lawsuits, and a number of other national embarrassments that we are too tired to list here.
So getting back to our main question…. Really Nigga?! Your administration is the best ever? I guess if you actually find a way to get away with all this shit, maybe it really is.