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Are the Grammy’s Still Relevant? Live Analysis – Objectively Black

      The Grammy Awards are upon us once again. An annual tradition where the Recording Academy historically shits all over Hip-Hop and music in general. The Grammys are supposed to be the most prestigious awards in all of music, but they are notorious for making epically controversial, questionable, and horrible decisions.

The award nominations process is slowly improving. It’s by no surprise that back in 2017 when they changed to an online voting process, the result was the most diverse field ever. Many fans are still not happy with the diversity and gender makeup of the Album Of The Year nominees. We can point to 2018’s Lorde, being the only female artist up for the award, and even then she was the only AOTY artist that did not get a chance to perform live.

Now, in 2019, the Grammys are still fucking up. The two biggest artists in Hip-Hop (or music in general) aren’t performing and reportedly aren’t even bothering to show up. Not sure what’s going on there, but if its anything like the restrictions that they are trying to place on the artist with the current #1 song in the world, Ariana Grande, they really fucked this up. She’s reportedly so upset at the show trying to censor and control her art, she’s declined to perform entirely.

With that said, is this show even relevant any longer? If this really is the biggest night of the year for music? Why aren’t the 3 biggest artists in the world performing? You probably didn’t even watch the Grammys, did you? Well, we did. Someone had to…

F. Dougie: Yo, I’m FADED.  Who’s up first?

Performance – Camila Cabello, Young Thug, J Balvin, and Ricky Martin – “Havana”

Dougie: I do like this song tho. If she don’t do the Spanish version, I’m out….

Idris: Actually amazing performance fam. Camila Cabello tho… I ain’t mad at her

Dougie: Ok, I see you Ricky Martin rocking the El Chapo mustache. Yeah fam, they killin it. Latin America taking back the charts.

Host – Alicia Keys

Dougie: Alicia Keys looking good as always…

Idris: Right now, Alicia looks like your auntie when you pop in on her unexpectedly. It’s working though.

Dougie: LOL, no shade.

Yo, is J. Lo wearing a Sombrero?

Idris: First Lady Michelle Obama out here looking like a queen.

….and that’s racist fam. Why it got to be a sombrero?

Dougie: *shrugs* MICHELLLLLLLLEEEEE! South Side!

Idris: Alicia asking who runs the world? Donald Trump, Alicia… Donald Trump currently runs the world. We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Dougie: They bout to get Donald Jr. tho. These ladies ain’t worried about no Donald tonight.

Performance – Shawn Mendes – “In My Blood”

Dougie: I think his piano is on fire…

Idris: Trash. Canceled. Lol. Where are the homies sleeves? Where’s Miley’s Shirt? I’m confused.

Dougie: Miley Cyrus? Oh, she’s done pretending to be black now? No more twerking? This bitch can sit the fuck down. Yeah, I said it. Take a seat. Take several.

Award – Best Pop Duo/Group Performance

Idris: Edelman won the MVP? Wow that actually kind of interesting.

Dougie: News to me…. I’m saying tho, how you feel being the MVP of the worst Superbowl game of all time. Score was like 6 to 3, right?

Idris: Backstreet boys have a new song out? What year is it? I’m not qualified to comment on this award.

Dougie: 2019. This is America.

Where the fuck is Cardi? I need her to come out and drag somebody.

Dougie: Oh shit, there goes Gaga. I fox wit her.

Idris: Yeah I was down with Paparazzi back in the day. That was my shiiiit.

Dougie: I’ll be back. I’m going to get some popcorn…


Performance – Kacey Musgraves – “Rainbow”

Dougie: …..who is this?

Idris: Oh this is Kim Kardashian’s little niece I think. This is the kind of music you listen to after your parents forbid you from seeing that boy from down the block. And they refuse to buy you the red Porsche you wanted. “It’ll be okay, little Jamie”.

Dougie: Quick Google search tells me shes a Country singer. Doesn’t sound like country… Looks like she’s playing it safe tonight. I wonder if she’ll have Kanye come out.

Performance – Janelle Monae – “Make Me Feel”

Idris: Oh Dear God. Thank You.

Dougie: Settle down fam. Neither one of us has a chance (shout out to the LGBTQ community).

Idris: Damn I don’t have DVR either.

Dougie: Too much pink for you anyway

Idris: I’m not sure what that means. I like pink.

Dougie: Ok, we moonwalking now?! I’ve never seen 10 people moonwalk before….

Idris: Well I’m starting to feel something too Janelle. Great performance!

Dougie: Where is Tessa Thompson?

Commercial – Gambino – Pixel 3

Dougie: Damn. That Donald Glover Commercial was kinda lit. Definitely had some MJ vibes. Might have to cop a Pixel 3

Award –  Song of the Year

Dougie: THIS. IS. AMERICA.

Idris: Hey, well-deserved win for Mr. Glover.

Dougie: “Don’t catch you slippin, tho”.

Performance – Red Hot Chili Peppers and Post Malone – “Rockstar/Dark Necessities”

Dougie: Ok…. The Chili Peppers are one of my favorite bands of all time…. But with Post Malone?

Idris: Didn’t know Post could play guitar. So far this isn’t a disaster.

Dougie: Yeah, I thought he just played Call of Duty.

Idris: Oh here we go. SWITCH IT UP QUICK. My guy playing both sides.

Dougie: Damn, from banjo to trap music REAL QUICK. These new artists are “multi-talented” I guess.

Idris: Most confusing performance of all time winners goes to… Shit, it actually sounds ok though.

Dougie: Yeah, I love this song (Dark Necessities). Great video too.

Performance – Kacey Musgraves, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus, Little Big Town, and Dolly Parton

Idris: Here we go with #grammysowhite

Dougie: We gotta see Miley Cyrus AGAIN?! I better see Cardi no less than thrice.

Idris: This performance was half the Grammy hairspray budget

Dougie: Twerk Miley. I thought you were holdin it down for the big girls? For the hood girls? Her family must have had an intervention.

Idris: Lol. They still can’t find her a fucking shirt? All these performances?

Idris: I have to shout out to Dolly and country music. I don’t know shit about it but they got harmonies down.

Dougie: I mean, yeah. Dolly Parton has always done her thing.

Idris: I’ve met my country quota for the year.

Dougie: I love when they show the crowd and niggas act like they know the lyrics but clearly don’t.

Idris: Woah this 9-5 shit fire tho. Smokey feeling it too.

Dougie: I love all these Apple Music plugs…. Let me turn on my Spotify so I can see if I recognize some of these songs.

Idris: Oh there you go, Alicia.

Dougie: That classic Alicia look. Love the hat.

Performance – H.E.R. – “Hard Place”

Idris: Somewhere Azealia Banks is hating hard on this girl

Dougie: LOLOLOL. Azealia lost her damn mind. Ain’t she hiding in Russell Crowe’s closet or something?

H.E.R. is killing it tho. She, is killing it?

Idris: YES. She is doing really well. Amazing.

Commercial – Lincoln on Lincoln

Idris: They got Abe Lincoln in a Lincoln commercial.

Dougie: Yo, I’m too faded for this. I don’t know if it’s disrespectful or brilliant. Also….why did it take them this long for them to put Abe Lincoln in a Lincoln commercial.

Idris: I don’t know either fam.

Performance – Cardi – “Money”

Dougie: Yo, can you break a $50? I need like 50 one dollar bills….

Idris: LOL

Dougie: I’m so glad my wife is in bed asleep.

Idris: Offset feels the same way I think

Dougie: YOOOOOOOOOO!  Lol

Award – Best Country Album

Dougie: Garth Brooks, lettsss gooooooooo!

Idris: Damn… I couldn’t care less about anything in the world. I’m seriously trying to figure out what the ingredients in my beer are.

Dougie: Kacey Musgraves? Did Kanye produce this album?

Interlude – Alicia Keys Karaoke

Idris: Alicia showing off for no good reason.

Dougie: She really gon sit here and play 2 pianos at once?

She’s so positive all the time. I love it.

Can we just listen to her play piano for the rest of the night?

Idris: Yeah man she’s got 15 Grammys and still underrated. Is that possible?

Dougie: No respect. Meanwhile they got us out here listening to Taylor Swift. For what, nigga?!

Now she doing, ‘Boo’ed up’?! Fam. She just played like 12 songs off top with NO sheet music.

I’m buying tickets to the next Alicia Keys show and I’m bringing the baby with me.

Idris: These poor blokes have to follow Alicia Keys.

Performance – Dan + Shay “Tequila”

Dougie: Who are these guys? They ain’t bad tho. They are doing pretty good.

Idris: Yo rewind the DVR back to Alicia… Fuck.. I don’t have that shit. Honestly, they aren’t tho. You right.

Dougie: Get that YouTube TV homie!

They must be country because they are singing about Colorado and Tequila. I want them to break into ‘Hypnotize’ by Biggie tho. That would impress me.

Idris: That last note was unnecessary though.

Dougie: You following Alicia Keys tho, you know? You gotta rip that shit.

Award – Best Rap Song

Idris: Ayyy, Gods Plan. We in here for the light skin niggas. Honestly, it was this or “Kings Dead”. But God’s plan was the song of the summer for sure.

Dougie: It was written. Love that video too. Ohhhhh shit, Drizzy actually showed up.

Idris: They cut the homie off when he was tryna spit facts.

Dougie: You see how they do us?!

LEGEND – Diana Ross

Dougie: I feel like we always live in the now, but Diana Ross is a fucking legend through MULTIPLE decades.

Idris: Diana for sure a living legend.

Dougie: DIVA

Performance – Lady Gaga – “Shallow”

Dougie: She singing both parts tho? Ok.

Idris: Her voice though. She is amazing man.

Dougie: 100. Let me just take this shit in.

Performance – Travis Scott, James Blake, & Earth, Wind, and Fire

Dougie: Do we know how he did at the Superbowl yet? I heard something about Spongebob?

Idris: Oh man, this was not good. I don’t know if the Super Bowl was any better.

Dougie: Kardashians putting that nonsense in his head. The Kurse is still going strong.

Performance – Smokey Robinson, Ne-yo, and J. Lo

Dougie: J. Lo doing the Motown tribute tho? How we feel about that?

Idris: I guess there was no one better? I have no idea. Where was Miley Cyrus?

Dougie: LOL. You know I love J. Lo. I’ve met her twice, you know? Did I ever tell you that? ……..But, no.

Idris: Only every 2 weeks. But Yeah. Agree.

Dougie: Gotta be careful, fam. You know A. Rod reads this blog.

Idris: We get it. You have a great butt J-lo.

Dougie: She’s always been an amazing dancer.

Award – Best R&B Album

Idris: AYYY H.E.R. Holding it down. Wonder if she knows she’s inside tho?

Dougie: I like the shades tho. Block the haters. Keeps her mysterious. H.E.R. did her thing.

Why they keep playing us off the stage?!

Idris: Yo this award show too damn long. They can’t have us our here thanking everybody.

Dougie: Miley Cyrus can perform 45 times but we can’t thank God, Momma, and Auntie Kiki?!

Idris: We hate Miley Cyrus in case this shit wasn’t clear! LOL

Dougie: LOL, it’s not personal. It’s just the comedy rule of 3s…..

(It’s personal).

Performance – Brandy Carlisle – “The Joke”

Idris: This chick won 3 Grammys already? I knew my parents should have let me be a singer. I’d have 30.

Dougie: She got the tooth gap tho. That’s extra range. You gotta fall down a flight of stairs and lose a few before you can sing like that.

Idris: Damn. I actually kind of like this shit.

Dougie: She don’t give a fuck. She goin in. Travis Scott and his Wrestlemania cage be damned.

Movie Trailer – “US”

Dougie: Fam. We are going to see this, OPENING. NIGHT.

Idris: Say less

Performance – Chloe x Halle (Donny Hathaway Tribute)

Dougie: Beyoncé discovered these girls, right?

Idris: No idea. But they good.

Award – Best Rap Album

Dougie: Cardi wins this…

Idris: Wow! Good for her there were some good albums on that list. I would have honestly said Astroworld or Swimming by Mac Miller.

Dougie: Happy for her. Hope she keeps winning.

Can we get Offset’s bitch-ass off stage?

Idris: Haha let my mans live. He’s a changed man.

Dougie: She’s hilarious. No fakeness about her.

Idris: Yeah happy for her for sure. She is as real as it gets.

Performance – St. Vincent and Dua Lipa

Dougie: I like both of these ladies. I feel like St. Vincent has an erotic torture chamber of some sort…. We gotta find that shit.

Idris: They both probably in there

Award – Best New Artist

Idris: YO…. THIS IS HILARIOUS.

Dougie: Bob Newhart. I like the old-school humor. Bring our Rodney Dangerfield next.

Idris: Congrats to Dua….

Dougie: Dua Lipa? Ok. She’s from YouTube, right?

Idris: No idea fam.

Dougie: Whatever. She’s a baddie.

Idris: She alright.

Dougie: You just hate her accent. You need to try some new thangs.

Idris: I’m wildin’ She’s amazing. I’m a hater. I like accents though. So that ain’t it.

Dougie: Ok, we gotta get back on topic.

Idris: What’s that? St. Vincent’s torture chamber?

Dougie: *Googles* St……Vincent’s……Torture…..Chamber

Yo, my wife is going to see my search history and I’ll most likely have to answer some tough questions when I get home tomorrow…

Idris: NOOOOO. Careful fam.

Dougie: Black Panther won the Grammy for Best Movie Score. How did we miss that?

Idris: Oh… Must not have been televised. But well deserved.

Dougie: Gotcha. This show is mad long and I’m getting groggy. I gotta get up for work in like 2 hours.

Idris: Yeah man. This why Drake and Cardi getting cut off. Shit too long.

Dougie: Aight, aight.

Artists who passed in 2018

Idris: Damn. RIP to all these great acts.

Dougie: Yeah man, they touched many lives

Aretha Tribute – Fantasia, Yolanda Adams, and Andra Day

Dougie: Take em to church.

Idris: Amazing

Dougie: Pharrell got Producer of the Year. Props.

Idris: Well deserved. But he’ll never be Murda Beats.

Dougie: ….

Award – Record of the Year

Dougie: This. Is. America. Wow. That was a tough category.

Idris: Very tough. But once again a well-deserved win

Award – Album of the Year

Dougie: This is the big one. Gotta say I’m pulling for Cardi or Janelle.

Fuck, I forgot about Black Panther.

Idris: BOOOO. I knew they’d fuck this one up. A country album as album of the year? Ok…

Dougie: Kacey Musgraves? Ok. But on the real, it’s tough when all the Hip-Hop votes get split 4 ways, you know?

We got Taylor’ed again. The entire room is silent. Goodnight everyone.

Idris: I can’t say I’m surprised. But yeah have a good night fam.

See Y’all at the Oscars.

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Further Discussion, Let's get into It

Travis Scott’s Super Bowl Adventure – Objectively Black

        Super Bowl Sunday is upon us once again. The biggest sports and media day in the United States. Brands salivate over how much exposure their ads will receive. Grown men in their peak physical condition beat the living shit out of each other and risk permanent brain damage for a chance at glory and for our entertainment. Until recently, American Football was an untouchable cornerstone of American culture. But now, given all of the static around the treatment of the players, the right to protest, and the dangers of the game as a whole, enjoying the game without fielding some kind of conversation seems not only impossible but disingenuous. Let’s get into it….

Sidestepping the scientific studies about the game of football and its relation to concussions and CTE, we’ll mainly be focusing on what we think is the biggest topic that involves the NFL today; Colin Kaepernick being blackballed from the league for non-violent protest and his subsequent lawsuit against the NFL for collusion.

Just to recap quickly, If you don’t know by now, Colin was the franchise QB for the San Francisco 49ers. Frustrated with young black men being gunned down in the streets of America, he protested by taking a knee and ultimately sitting during the national anthem. His reasoning;

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color…To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people are getting paid leave while getting away with murder.”

The fallout has been a complete clusterfuck, even getting to the point where the “president” of the United States weighed in and pressured the league to punish players for not standing for the anthem. You’ve got people calling Colin a hero, striking resemblance to Ali’s protests against bigotry and unjust war in Vietnam. On another hand, we have people angry about players taking a knee and calling anyone that does so Unamerican. (We call those people racists).

Looking over the fact that NFL teams have needed QBs and have picked up far inferior players over the last few years instead of Colin adds insult to injury. When asked if Colin should be on an NFL team, 95% of players answered YES.

Look, you’ve been through all this before, so we don’t want to drag you back through the controversy, but just so you know, most people of color are still not happy with Colin’s treatment or the league’s handling of this matter.

We’ve actually had this conversation many, many times, but the reason for bringing this back is the 2019 Pepsi Halftime show. Yes. The halftime show.

“I said no to the Superbowl, you need me, I don’t need you/Every night we in the endzone, tell the NFL we in stadiums too” – JAY Z / APESHIT

The NFL announced in late 2018 that Maroon 5 would be headlining the Halftime show. Great. Awesome. But does that tell the whole story? The NFL first asked Hov to perform at the halftime show and he basically told them to go fuck themselves. We already know that he rides wit Colin and he was making a point. ‘You gotta do right by us before we play your shows’.

They asked Rihanna. Declined.

Called Cardi.  FOH.

Usher. Yeah? Nope.

Mary J. Blige. Nigga please.

Andre 3000. *crickets*

All said no to show solidarity with Colin. This brings us to Travis Scott (and now, Big Boi?!). Trav will be playing with Maroon 5 during the show. When he was up for the job, it was reported that Hov tried to talk him out of it (for the above-mentioned reasons). He was unsuccessful. Most of the online reaction was interesting, to say the least.

Rapper – Meek Mill: “For What???”

Editor – Monique Judge: “Of course a Kardashian nigga is doing the Super Bowl.” (Ouch)

Activist – Al Sharpton: “I think he should do what a lot of other major artists have done. Say ‘I’m not going to participate…You can’t fight against Jim Crow and then go sit in the back of the bus.”

Actor/Producer – Michael B. Jordan: “Hopefully it’s a rumor. We are trying to stand behind something right now. We all have to try collectively.”

There’s no question that we support Colin. The question is, how do we each feel about how the protests have played out so far.

F. Dougie: First things first: I don’t fuck with the NFL. I can’t support them as an organization right now and for that reason, I don’t consume their content. I won’t be watching the Superbowl and I haven’t for the last 2 years. That’s My personal choice and point of view.

I don’t condemn people that do watch the NFL. Do your thing. Watch the games. Play fantasy football. Do what you do. No judgment here. In my opinion, not watching their product or purchasing their merchandise is a great way to protest their treatment of Colin Kaepernick and shows solidarity for the players while they may not have the luxury to do so. In this scenario, for the purposes of the protests, I think that musical artists do have some level of influence over culture and can send a message to the NFL and their sponsors by banding together and saying “We don’t agree with the way that you have handled this, and we won’t be playing your shows until you come correct.”

Me personally, I’m disappointed in Travis Scott (Big Boi, and anyone else who decides to participate). Do I think he’s a sellout? No. An Uncle Tom? No. We’ve seen these words thrown around online like deflated footballs (Shoutout to the GOAT. I see you MAGA Tommy. Tell Yeezy we said ‘What up’). But if we are really supposed to be together in this, I think that vilifying brothas for making their own decisions is a bad look.

Of the above comments, I think that most are coming from a place of love. Meek said he still rode with Travis, and I still support the young brother as well. 2018 was an amazing year for him and it seems like he wants to capitalize on that momentum.

Sure, there are people out there talking about “Cancel Travis!”, but I think that’s extreme and is a conversation for another time. Idris, what do you think about the protests and the Superbowl performers?

Idris Gray: Thank God the NBA knows how to treat its players. I don’t know if I could stop watching then Kobe, and now Lebron leading those Lakers to their next championship. But while the demographics of the players in these two leagues might be similar, 70+ percent for both. There is one fact of the makeup of the fans that isn’t lost on me. Basketball is sacred in the black community. While Football is more of a white thing. At least that’s my perception of it. And I think it’s proven in how the NFL is behaving on this matter.

Both sports leagues cater to their fans. And it’s sad that while one league tries to be inclusive, the other is stuck on stupid. Remember Donald Sterling? Yeah, he was the former owner of The Los Angeles Clippers who was forced to the sell the team after making racist remarks about blacks. He was also banned from basketball for his inflammatory words. Why such a harsh punishment? I like to think its because the NBA wants to set an example of how progressive a sports league should be. Which is necessary since racism in US sports still happens even at the highest levels in the NBA, MLB, and NFL.

F. Dougie: Right. Look at how they still treat Serena.

Idris Gray: So yes I’m in line with the protest. The NFL is certainly in the wrong for locking Kaep out. BUT, and yes there’s a but, I won’t condemn Travis Scott here. On Sunday, Travis Scott will be one of many black men participating in the festivities of the Super Bowl. There will be a number of black men suited up, playing a sport for the entertainment of millions, just like Travis. And yes, before you say anything, I understand why it’s different.

Perhaps these athletes don’t have quite the same opportunity to protest as Travis. Some may even say that protesting as an athlete on the field would have no effect, as there are many willing participants who would jump at the opportunity to take a players place. I would disagree with both points. First, by saying, that no protest is supposed to be convenient, sacrifices and costs are usually high. And 2nd by saying that the black athletes in the NFL are so essential to the success of the league, that just the outrage from fans from not seeing their favorite players, might be the catalyst needed to bring the issues that Colin was fighting for, back to light.

So what am I asking from the players? I’m not even sure what they are doing. Are they still taking knees? I’m sorry. I don’t watch the NFL. Are they putting fists up? I couldn’t tell you. But that’s part of the issue. I hear outrage that Travis is playing the Superbowl. But none that every single black athlete is doing the same.

F. Dougie: Great points. Since you brought up fans condemning people in the public eye, let’s talk a little about ‘Cancel Culture’.

This is gonna be a big one Y’all, so join us next week when we really get into it.

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